I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i think i scared a bird with my dick
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
