Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
