I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
