Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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