i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
