im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
