EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
How external is "for external use only"?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
