You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
