I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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