At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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