I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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