Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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