It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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