those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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