Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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