I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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