i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
