Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
