this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
