porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
