I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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