WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well I just put wine in my tea
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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