Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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