wrigley field is MILF paradise
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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