my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize