I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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