Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
