Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
