hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
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We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
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Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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