Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
