im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
