well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
