you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
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