I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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