I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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