I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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