Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize