just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
