She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
