I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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