i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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