i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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