Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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