I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
