About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
