3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
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