I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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