You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize