How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
