May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize