I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.