I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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