My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.