Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
