I smell stomach acid.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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