last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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