Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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