dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
