Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm bleeding and have questions
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
