I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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