I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize