i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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