He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
