Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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