Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
