Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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