Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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