Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
