Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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