he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
