alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
