Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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