Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
