Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
